Thanks for coming back to hear about the second part of our journey! If you missed the first half, you can find it HERE.
Today I want to share about our Sweet Surprise.. Brooklyn Arrow Garcia!
HEALING AFTER A MISCARRIAGE
After experiencing a miscarriage in September 2019 we decided we were going to wait until January to start trying to grow our family again. We wanted to take our time to heal and make sure we were really ready for the emotions that come with a second attempt.
November 2019: We were preparing for the Holidays and things were pretty busy. We were in song writing sessions for our next LYA album and we got news that Kanye West would be coming to the church to host a Sunday Service. Needless to say, we were jam packed with things to do.
In our writing session, my husband presented a song that he started and the team worked on it to complete it. I immediately fell in love with it and kept singing it over myself. We recorded a demo and then moved to the next presented idea. About a week later, I was having a hard morning. Grief would come in waves for me and this morning was a big wave. I just sat there and cried. Ramiro started playing the demo of the song that we had just finished. It brought me so much comfort and healing. After replaying it a few times, he decided to look back at his original voice memo and realized it was recorded only weeks after our miscarriage. We were amazed that it came out of one of the hards moments for us. We prayed, got dressed, and went to work.
That next week was a busy one since we were hosting the Sunday Service. The busyness kept me occupied and it was so easy to forget what I was really going through. We made memories, started becoming more active and things kinda felt like they were getting back to normal.
FINDING OUT WE WERE EXPECTING OUR NEW BABY
Thanksgiving week arrived and we planned to go visit my family in Louisiana. I had been a little concerned that I had not had a cycle that month. My body was still getting back to normal so I wanted to make sure everything was ok. I asked Ramiro if I should take a pregnancy test just to make sure before I called my doctor. I figured, if it was negative I had more of a reason to call. I took the test and left it in the bathroom. I honestly didn’t think I could be pregnant. I just felt like I needed some kind of peace that it was normal. About 5 min later I went back to check and it was big and bold PREGNANT. (Note: I couldn’t do the line test. I needed it to tell me for sure ha)
I was in shock. My thoughts were going a mile a minute. I walked into the living room and told Ramiro “It says Pregnant”. He looked at me in with big eyes and couldn’t believe it. Now let me say, seeing positive on a pregnancy test can make amazing memories. But this experience was very different than our first. We didn’t even know what to say. My emotions were all over. Almost immediately I was filled with fear. Were we really ready to do this all over again? What if the test was wrong and I get my hopes up? What if it happened again? I googled the most ridiculous things out of fear. (That was a bad idea) We ended the night praying over our new baby, our hearts, and our minds.
I wanted to call our doctor right away but the offices were closed and would be closed until the next Monday because of Thanksgiving! So we decided to keep positive thoughts and enjoy the holidays. We shared the news with 3 couples that had really walked us through the miscarriage. They are all leaders in our church and have been a part of our love story since the beginning. We knew we need people praying for us and people checking on us. Monday came so slowly but we called and made an appointment. Normally, offices wont see you until you are 8 weeks because there’s not much they can do before then. But our doctor asked us to come in the next week to confirm the pregnancy and make sure everything was ok.
We nervously went in and she confirmed that there indeed was a baby! We were only 5 weeks so the heartbeat was not strong enough to be heard but we could see it on the screen. Tiny movement. I knew it was a heartbeat. She asked us to come back 2 weeks later for a check up and hopefully we could hear it. So we did. And we heard it. A strong and healthy heartbeat.
I wish I could say that brought all the comfort I needed, but it was still a battle everyday. I would have moments that I would remember what we went through. I stopped googling things and stopped checking the baby apps. Those things are great, but there are so many articles that say…. “If _____ happens, it could be normal.. or a sign of an early miscarriage” I just couldn’t do it. I had to guard my heart and my mind.
The first trimester was the hardest. For both pregnancies, I didn’t have crazy symptoms or morning sickness. So I didn’t really have signs to tell me that everything was ok. I just had to believe and confess everyday that our baby was healthy and strong. That this pregnancy would go smooth, with no complications or reason to worry. By the time we got to our 12 week appointment we were over the moon and so ready to tell our families. Our doctor said everything looked normal and we were on our way to a healthy baby. We left that appointment full of confidence that everything was going to be perfectly fine!
I can’t really really remember the timeline for this next part but I do remember that there was a day, after finding out that we were expecting, that we realized the song that was finished by our team was truly a confession of what was happening to us. (I’m attaching the song and lyrics below) The part that blew us away is that while we were writing this song and confessing “It’s Happening NOW“, I was already pregnant with our new baby and didn’t even know it! The Sunday Service picture above… Yep our new baby was already there! God really amazes me, Friends!
Here our new song from LYA that just released today!
VERSEI still believeYou can move any mountainWith just one wordI still believeYou can heal any sicknessWith just one touch
I still believeYou can overcome fearWith Your perfect love
I still believeThere is freedom for allBy Your precious blood
Lord, I believe itLord, I believe itLord, I believe itIt’s happening now
ChorusLet every chain be brokenLet every heart be freeFor You have won the battleYour power lives in meHear the heavens roaringAs all creation singsHoly, Holy, HolyIs Jesus Christ, our King
BridgeYou can do all thingsYou can do all thingsI know You’re faithfulYou’re ableThere’s nothing that You cannot do
WHY I CHOSE TO SHARE OUR STORY
My prayer is that our story can show people that it is possible to believe in miracles even when you can’t see it at the moment. Also, Jesus is close to the broken hearted, lean into him for peace and healing.
Since I’ve opened up about our miscarriage, I’ve gotten so many messages from people I don’t know but also people that I know and love that have been through the same thing. I’ve been in tears reading stories of people with no hope that have been given hope through our story. THAT is why i felt strongly about sharing.
Talking about a miscarriage can be hard and even awkward for some people. There are so many emotions involved and there is no right or wrong way to process it. Please know that if someone opens up to you about their experience, you have the perfect opportunity to practice empathy. Just showing caring love is enough.
Thanks for allowing me to share so openly about my experience. Although I wouldn’t want to go through it ever again, I’m grateful that God was about to take something so broken and make it beautiful.
I can’t wait for you all to meet our beautiful baby girl!